Today marks 7 months to the day since we lost Emmet. This has been the first 22nd in 7 months where I have actually felt okay. Not great. But okay.
Maybe it’s because I had a big melt down two days ago instead, or perhaps I’m better at coping than I was.
It makes me feel like perhaps next month, on what should also have been thier due date, the 22nd may be a little more survivable than I had thought, but I’m trying not to jinx it.
Either way today was fine. I would even go so far as to say I did actually enjoy the family meal tonight for my brother in law’s birthday. Considering it involved my bloomingly pregnant sister in law, and, as her partner many of his gifts were baby related and the talk was all baby.
I feel that by not copping out as I had said I might was a definite step forward after what felt like a huge stepback. Friday night was all kinds of not good, and I woke up in the middle of the night on Saturday unable to breathe and having a panic attack. Oh joy.
I went to the meal instead of just dropping the card off at my partners house and legging it out of there before anyone turned up. It was good. My sister in law is getting on really well and we are all thrilled. Even if I will admit that it has been difficult, for my partner and I to face.
I’m just glad today was alright really.
Love and support always,
Surviving Miscarriage Together x