Today’s prompt is Tree.
I think of lots of things when I think of trees.
Forrest, family tree, tree house, tree climbing, leaves, shade, jungle etc…
But in regards to that list the most difficult thing I have dealt with is the ‘Family tree’ part. Babies lost before 24 week’s do not require, nor are given any form of certification. As explained but the Miscarriage Association here:
As a result of this rule, although many people who have experienced pregnancy loss feel as if they lost a baby, just as much as a pregnancy, yet their, and my baby is classed as a non-entitiy by law. You can’t register them on a legal family tree for example, although you can on a private one. Obviously the ‘where do we decide to draw the line on who isn’t and who is a human’ debate is hugely controversial. So drawing the line at where a pregnancy is considered viable for life outside the womb is a sensible one. I find this topic difficult as, although I am pro-choice and will defend the right of any woman to have control over her body, her choices and whether or not she has a child until the day I die, I do personally struggle with the fact that the little life that seemed so desperately real to me, is not classed as any such thing.
Because it didn’t feel like loosing a blob of cells, it felt truely like loosing a baby. The loss, despite how early on it was 3-5 weeks, and how briefly I was pregnant, has impacted me hugely. I will grieve their loss for as long as I live, because I loved them, and will always love them.
We think of this photo as our ‘family’ photo, and it is the only one we have. I was pregnant then, although it would be a couple of days later that I knew for sure, I had my suspicions by that point. Please excuse the unflattering angle 😂 We were on a walk, and conviniently under a tree here, so I thought I would share it. We have a few other tree pictures from that walk actually. It was a really great day out, even if the breaks on the car did fail. It wasn’t funny then, but we find it pretty funny looking back.
Love and support always,
Surviving Miscarriage Together x