I can’t believe how many names we have collected so far. I have received submissions from all over, from Whisper, WordPress and support groups.
We have on the most reacent count 71 names and/or dates.
I’m glad we have reached so many people, but gutted to think our lives have connected to families who have lost so many to miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death and child loss.
I am devestated and honored to be able to write not only Emmets name on a baloon, but also to write the names or dates of 70 others at the last count.
I expected to write maybe ten names this year.
Well if I’m honest I had no idea what to expect. I only thought to write Emmets name at first, but I realised just how many people I have connected with in the last 8 months, and how without Emmet I never would have met any of these amazing people. I wanted to honour them too.
Before we lost Emmet I was aware of other people who had lost babies, suffered with infirtility or babyloss etc, but only on the perifirals, I cried when my Mum’s work friend lost her first pregnancy and we planted her pots with herbs and flowers. I decorated the clay pots carefully and her husband came to pick them up. My Dad gave him a hug and as he drove away we saw he was crying.
I didn’t think much about their loss again, although when others joked about their over sharing pictures of their second baby girl, I thought to myself ‘why not?’ They probably can’t get enough time to appreciate this little girl, but I didn’t say anything and I wish I had defended her right to overshare pictures of her second baby, because how precious she must be to them. I do now.
And maybe people think it’s weird that I’m a young woman who seemingly knows a bit too much, or is overly defensive about others who have experienced babyloss. Not many people know I am also in this crazy club none of us wanted to join.
My gran lost her first baby girls soon after she was born to organ complications. Both set of my Godparents had miscarriages and struggled with infirtility. I know of many friends of my Mothers who have had miscarriages, and my Partners Mother had a little girl after him ( I think?) that she lost to an ectopic pregnancy. And I can think of many other family members.
And I think to myself.
Why is no one talking about this?
Why does no one care about them?
So here I am.
Talking about it and trying my best to make sure people know I care.
Love and support always,
Surviving Miscarriage Together x