Can I take a nap through October?

In a perfect world, I would have a one month 6 day old newborn in my arms and keeping me up all night. I would not even be thinking about a first birthday yet.

Instead I am alert to the fact that although October might seem still some distance off, it is getting ever closer with each day that passes. It has been nearly a year now and I honestly have no idea how to process that information.

How has it been nearly a year since we lost our little flame?

I am aware also that Emmet doesn’t really have a birthday; (I have discussed this in my blog post ‘Please don’t ask me how old he is-he doesn’t have a birthday’ if you want to know a bit more about it).

I don’t know if I should think of the 22nd October 2016 as a birthday? I know some people call it an ‘Angelversary’ but the term doesn’t sit so well with me. I am loving this foil card by @when.you.wish.upon.a.star (instagram) is just the cutest thing.

But I mean, is he one? How do I deal with this? I don’t want to just wallow in my grief throughout October, that isn’t the only legacy I want Emmet to have on earth.

For his due date on June 22nd (the 22nd is one of those dates that keeps popping up, weird coincidence but I digress) we created the #Foreverloved Balloon Project, which we will continue next year as well due to the overwhelming positive response we got for #FLBP2017 That really helped us heal and gave a lot of closure in a difficult part of our journey after loss. How have you all coped? I would honestly love to hear your suggestions.

Love and support always,

Surviving Miscarriage Together x

P.s ‘When you wish upon a star’ do gorgeous baby loss keepsakes, such as foil prints of ultrasound images and footprints, quotes etc, if you want to have a look at their shop check it out here.

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