The armour is on.

So I am a student now. University life has arrived and I feel a little overwhelmed by it all.
My support network is now 2 hours away by car.

I have raven blue hair.

On the one hand I am glad to get away from the sometimes oppressive nature of my parents household, I am glad to be free of the unintentionaly hurtful comments. I am glad I can just be myself. Nobody here really knows me.

I can display his precious things without fear of my families judgement. Although most is safe with Emmet’s daddy in his memory box some things came with me, I couldn’t bear to leave him behind but didn’t want to risk damaging or loosing anything. Or somebody going through it as I unpacked so it will be brought up later.

But also, nobody knows what I have been through. There will be no-one close at hand to understand why some days hit me so I can’t breathe.

Saying goodbye to the things in his box and leaving them behind was difficult. I wanted to clutch them and never let go. To never move again because time keeps passing without him.

I miss my little flame and I miss my partner.

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