Tonight I am in agony. Tonight I cannot sleep. I want to sleep. I don’t want to wake up tomorrow tired and sore from lack of sleep but I can’t.

Tonight is one of those nights where I am just awake with no end in sight.

I miss Emmet so much. I want him so badly. Every fibre of my being is screaming out for someone who isn’t there.

He should be 3 months 5 days old. He should be. Not could be or would be. Should be.

Pregnancy is supposed to result in a baby, not this. A half life of motherhood with no end in sight. What I thought was guaranteed was ripped away.

And now there is no longer certainty.

I cannot believe it is less than a month until it has been a year. How has it been so long without our little flame?

Love and support always,

Surviving Miscarriage Together x