22 letters to you. Letters 5 & 6. Dear Réalta.

05.03.18 Dear Réa, I may have had your brother with me for longer, but I have struggled more with loosing you. For a long time I wasn't even able to comprehend what had happened and that was a dark and difficult time. With Emmet I was terrified, unsure but excited. Pregnant with you there was … Continue reading 22 letters to you. Letters 5 & 6. Dear Réalta.

Sandcastles and dinosar wellies 

This isn't really my story, it's my partners, as it was his dream. But here I am writing about it so I guess you'll just have to hear it from me second hand as it were. He told me this morning as I woke up  (very slowly, he is a morning person- I am not) … Continue reading Sandcastles and dinosar wellies 

Day 13. Colour #MWAH2017

Todays prompt is colour. I think of lots of colours when I think of Emmet.  Pink, white, grey, orange, blue, yellow, green. The colours of hope, of love and grief, of my pain and joy. 

Dinosaur hat

Morrison's baby section, lovingly placed opposite the self service till which I frequent regularly now interups what used to be a calming and enjoyable lunchtime sabbatical. When I'm getting my lunch it never fails to find new ways of stabbing me in the tender spot where my heart is still trying to stitch itself back … Continue reading Dinosaur hat

Rising panic

The feeling of panic I get when I think that I may never have kids is difficult to explain. All my life I have planned for children; the 'Kids rooms' and 'Child care' boards on pinterest didn't start with the positive pregnancy test, nor did the obsession with babies and children. I love them, I … Continue reading Rising panic

The baby isles: Avoiding things after miscarriage.

I am apparently a glutton for self punishment. I didn't used to think I was, but time is proving otherwise.  I found, and still find, that it can be all to easy to fall into unhealthy habbits when you're at your lowest. Picking at the wound so that it doesn't heal is one way of … Continue reading The baby isles: Avoiding things after miscarriage.