Dear Réa, Today marks the first day of march. I have been dreading this month. I wish this was the month we got to meet you. To bring you home. I heard on the Radio Lincoln County Hospital, sent out a request for donations for the Chapel of Rest. They want to be able to … Continue reading 22 letters to you. Letter One. Dear Réalta..
I am becoming almost accustomed to grief now, and if anything that is more terrifying than when it was all consuming. How can something like this become my everyday? How this is the reality we face is beyond my comprehension. If someone told me I would have two miscarriages, start university, and move house in … Continue reading Becoming accustomed to grief.
Today's prompt is Friend. (Yesterday got away from me and I wasn't able to finish this blog post, so here it is on the 18th instead.) Friend. I lost a best friend in the time between now and last october, I also gained friendships, and worked out who is really going to be there for me when the shit hits the fan.
Navigating life at the moment is like trecking the Alps without a map in flipflops.
Sometimes I can be endlessly patient, but I am terrible at waiting for microwave food. Also I am not very patient with myself.
Today's prompt is timeless. Not many things are timeless. Time touches every thing. Sure some things endure, like Victorian jewellery or medieval manuscripts and bad tatoos.
Tell us what you are thankful for x
Life, however short is always important.
Healing together x
If you're getting tired of my using song lyric puns for post titles sorry not sorry... It makes me laugh. My sense of humour is dogey and always has been. Bad jokes make me giggle, such as: Q. What do you call a laughing piano? A. A Yamaha-ha... I know. Terrible. Point is I find … Continue reading Things can only get better
Updated playlist I find music very comforting, and a valuable emotional release. I find it easier to cope with music. Here are some songs I have found that I found really helpful during and after my miscarriage. * means the song contains religious content, so you can avoid it if this is an issue for … Continue reading Playlist Surviving Miscarriage Together
Then 'New Human' in the family is a girl and the in laws are calling her Skye. This makes me happy, being able to buy baby clothes with happy thoughts makes me feel like a ton of bricks has come off my chest after the grief of last week/ the last 3+ months. I spent … Continue reading Five happy things 4
Today I found out that my 'sister in law' (sorta. We'll call her this for simplicities sake) is having a baby girl, and that they plan to name her Skye. When I first learned that my brother and sister in law (on my partners side) were having a baby I was heartbroken, I felt so … Continue reading Look up to the Skye and see…
My partners brother (henceforth termed brother in law) and his partner are having a baby. People on my side of the family keep teasing me about knitting baby shoes when we gather to watch tv on a sunday with the whole clan together. 'Ohh are you expecting' 'Look someone's broody' 'It'll be your turn soon' … Continue reading Piss off I’m just an auntie
My five happy things for this weeks My in laws are having a baby! There is now a use for ny hopeless urge to buy/make baby clothes Seriously I. GET. TO. BE. AN. AUNT. AGAIN!(As I now claim all children of my partners siblings as nieces/ nephews as well as kids of my own siblings.) … Continue reading 5 happy things 3
I am doing my best at focusing on being grateful for what I have, and the chances and choices I have, rather than those which I don't. I know it's not an option for us for ten plus years yet, (i.e. after the necesary goals of or a job and a house have all been … Continue reading The future, maybe?
Mostly I just want to be a mother. A mother with a living, breathing, hold your hand as you cross the street child. I now have a 20% chance of re-occurring miscarriage due to losing my first pregnancy. Added to that the 13% increace that is associated with severe joint hypermobility syndrome we're looking at 33%. … Continue reading Ode to health based infirtility
I don't really feel very hopeful at the moment. Actually all I feel is empty and numb and sad. I sometimes feel a bit disassociated with my life. Like there is now way this is happening. Time is not moving on, I can't keep up with it. I feel just a bit 'outside' all the … Continue reading Hopeful?