The Frenemy

The Frenemy. Mine is Facebook, I use the messanger app nearly every day to keep up with friends and family, but I can't think of the last time I actually went on Facebook unless it was just to untag myself from the random crap my Bio dad calls to my attention. I like unicorn stuff, … Continue reading The Frenemy

22 letters to you. Letter 8. Dear Réalta

Dear Réa, I think and worry often about giving you and Emmet siblings. Often it occupies a great deal of my mind, I go through every option, outcome, ideal and worst case scenarios. I replay both pregnancies I have had in my head repeatedly. It does not take as long as it should have. I … Continue reading 22 letters to you. Letter 8. Dear Réalta

22 letters to you. Letter 4. Dear Réalta.

4.03.18 Dear Réa, Today I wore my brightest yellow jumper because I was tired of wearing dark colours all the time, and the weather is so grey. Even if I feel rubbish, bright colours make me feel cheerful, and wearing my sunshine jumper was the boost I needed to get me out of bed today. … Continue reading 22 letters to you. Letter 4. Dear Réalta.

22 letters to you. Letter One. Dear Réalta..

Dear Réa, Today marks the first day of march. I have been dreading this month. I wish this was the month we got to meet you. To bring you home. I heard on the Radio Lincoln County Hospital, sent out a request for donations for the Chapel of Rest. They want to be able to … Continue reading 22 letters to you. Letter One. Dear Réalta..

Becoming accustomed to grief.

I am becoming almost accustomed to grief now, and if anything that is more terrifying than when it was all consuming. How can something like this become my everyday? How this is the reality we face is beyond my comprehension. If someone told me I would have two miscarriages, start university, and move house in … Continue reading Becoming accustomed to grief.

Commemorative portraits available

On my buisness instagram @zoe_makes I have started a croudfunding program to try to help more berieved families who have experienced babyloss. If you go to my instagram @survivingmiscarrigetogether you will see loads of pieces I have done so far. I do not charge for these pieces and therefore have had do do digital only … Continue reading Commemorative portraits available

Who I am. 22 Days of Hope 2

#22daysofhope Day two: Who I am. I am Zoe. I am Emmets Mum, I have had one first trimester miscarriage (Emmet 22.10.16) and one Chemical pregnancy in the Summer of 2017. I have genetic based indirect infirtility. I want to adopt in the future, and getting my degree is an important step and one I … Continue reading Who I am. 22 Days of Hope 2

Who They are

#22daysofhope Who they are: Emmet David Arnold-Peirson, our little flame; and the reason this project exists. He is also the reason why I have met so many of you amazing loss parents. He left us 22nd October 2016 and was due 22nd June 2017. He is our first, and so far only child. Missing him … Continue reading Who They are

Personal

I speak out because I need people to understand that baby loss is not just something that happens.
It is personal, inescapable, and you participate in that process, in that grief for every day after it happens until the day you die. I am not finding that my grief has lessened. It has grown both easier to carry and harder to bear. Every day you learn how to cope and every day you are faced with more milestones and should have beens and could have beens. Every day I grieve more for what we have lost together, as a family, and yet, it also gets easier. It is a paradox, it is both easier to go in every day and find a new normal, and yet, grief seems to be amplified by every milestone left forever un-reached.

Cafe days and finding E’s

I love the display in this cafe window on the high street where my sister lives. I liked the lettering and took pictures of the E's. Should have done the other letters that are in his name, it could be good to try to find all of them in different places to make up name … Continue reading Cafe days and finding E’s