Dear Réa, Today marks the first day of march. I have been dreading this month. I wish this was the month we got to meet you. To bring you home. I heard on the Radio Lincoln County Hospital, sent out a request for donations for the Chapel of Rest. They want to be able to … Continue reading 22 letters to you. Letter One. Dear Réalta..
Future. Today I found out that I have a new niece (well my partner does, but we've been together so long I'm claiming Auntage). Skye was born today. Happy birthday to the new human. She has her whole future in front of her, I know I am biased but she is adorable. Definitely looks like … Continue reading Day 31. Future #MWAH2017
Today's prompt is quiet. Sometimes I like the quiet, but mostly I am not good at being quiet. I like noise, life, sound. I always have music playing. Turning the radio on is the first thing I do in the morning, and one of the last things to go off at night. I try not … Continue reading Day 30. Quiet #MWAH2017
Light. I often light a candle for Emmet, either at home or one of the ones at the church or the Abbey. Yesterday I went to the Norfolk show and made one out of beeswax. It was a deep forest green, I lit it last night and let it burn out. Sometimes you need light … Continue reading Day 29. Light #MWAH2017
Broken. I have a thing for broken things. Broken objects. Broken animals. I try to fix everything. I want to go into Conservation of Cultural Heritage, which is basically fixing broken things, oy they are a bit more impressive than re painting my Mum's prized sugar tub. I hate it when something can't be fixed, … Continue reading Day 28. Broken #MWAH2017
Soothe. Lots of things soothe me. Hugs from my partner, phone calls when you just need to hear someones voice. Post cards from my Grandma, always with serene photographs, the same loopy handwriting we struggle to decode, the same message of love and thoughtfulness in every immaculately straight line of print. Hearing birds sing outside, … Continue reading Day 27. Soothe #MWAH2017
Love makes family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.
Celebrate. That's what we did on Thursday and it felt amazing to celebrate the too short lives of all the babies included in the #ForeverLoved project. It healed m soul to celebrate my baby. Some people might think I make too big a deal out of Emmets loss and his even shorter existence. They might … Continue reading Day 25. Celebrate #MWAH2017
Fragile. I felt very fragile after loosing Emmet, and I was physicaly fragile for a while too. Miscarriage fucking hurts
Todays prompt is Ink. I have been considering getting 'inked' for a while. I want something to remember Emmet tattooed on my left side, under my heart so that it won't be visable to anyone else unless I am starkers. I either want just his name, or his initials hidden in a wing. I'm not … Continue reading Day 23. Ink MWAH2018
The prompt for day 22 is sky. I didn't get round to writing this blog as I was so bust with our #ForeverLoved Balloon Project which was a real success! We commemorated over 200 babies yesterday, and it was a really good day, I'll write more about it later. When I found out I was … Continue reading Day 22. Sky MWAH2017
I struggle to get the words out to express what I want to say. This blog is pretty much how I communicate to the world my pain and grief, and the ups and downs of navigating life after loss. This journey in the baby loss club is crazy and unending. We should at least try to talk to one another.
Distance. The distance between now and losing Emmet is nearly 8 months. In that time we have: both got sick of saying them and named them Emmet on the 14th December 2016, loved them, got sick of still saying them and realized that we both thought of them as a little boy 19th June 2017 … Continue reading Day 20. Distance #MWAH2017
Todays prompt is succumb. I was supposed to write this monday but was in fact to busy succumbing to my grief that all plans I had went out the window.
Reflect, it can mean think, to look upon, or mirroring. Looking at your reflection... I could reflect on how far I've come, on what I have learnt in the last 8 months, but I wouldn't know what to say. What do you say about something like this.
Today's prompt is Friend. (Yesterday got away from me and I wasn't able to finish this blog post, so here it is on the 18th instead.) Friend. I lost a best friend in the time between now and last october, I also gained friendships, and worked out who is really going to be there for me when the shit hits the fan.
My Granddad sung 'You are my sunshine' to me all the time when I was a little kid. I have it on my phone now and listen to it all the time.
This one seems pretty apt today, I did plenty of crying yesterday, and my fair share today too.
This should have been written yesterday, but I didn't quite get round to writing it so I will have to do two today 😊 Today's prompt is remembering.
Todays prompt is colour. I think of lots of colours when I think of Emmet. Pink, white, grey, orange, blue, yellow, green. The colours of hope, of love and grief, of my pain and joy.