Dear Réa, I think and worry often about giving you and Emmet siblings. Often it occupies a great deal of my mind, I go through every option, outcome, ideal and worst case scenarios. I replay both pregnancies I have had in my head repeatedly. It does not take as long as it should have. I … Continue reading 22 letters to you. Letter 8. Dear Réalta
I do believe in everyday magic, but before you think I have jumped right on the crazy train, hear me out. I believe in the magic of the sunset. I believe in the tiny magics we encounter every day. That one colleague who can just make tea better than anyone else.
I've chosen to put my name on this blog for the first time. Why? Because it's mine. Because I want my mark on it. Because I will not be ashamed.
Today I found out that my 'sister in law' (sorta. We'll call her this for simplicities sake) is having a baby girl, and that they plan to name her Skye. When I first learned that my brother and sister in law (on my partners side) were having a baby I was heartbroken, I felt so … Continue reading Look up to the Skye and see…
Jack Valentine or Valentine's knock, is a tradition in Norfolk and my family of essentially playing 'ding dong ditch' with gifts on the doorsteps or windows of a house for the kids. These gifts are 'left' by Jack Valentine (or a helpful and hopefully speedy neighbour) for the children on the doorstep every Valentine's day evening. When February … Continue reading Jack Valentine’s
My partners brother (henceforth termed brother in law) and his partner are having a baby. People on my side of the family keep teasing me about knitting baby shoes when we gather to watch tv on a sunday with the whole clan together. 'Ohh are you expecting' 'Look someone's broody' 'It'll be your turn soon' … Continue reading Piss off I’m just an auntie
My five happy things for this weeks My in laws are having a baby! There is now a use for ny hopeless urge to buy/make baby clothes Seriously I. GET. TO. BE. AN. AUNT. AGAIN!(As I now claim all children of my partners siblings as nieces/ nephews as well as kids of my own siblings.) … Continue reading 5 happy things 3
This week my health has been interesting. It's the only real thing that describes it. It hasn't been awful, it could definitely be worse, but my digestive system is having some serious moments. This week has not been it's finest hour. I got a bit over tired with schoolwork and my body threw a hissy … Continue reading So my health…
We're now at what would have been the 20 weeks point. We would have ultrasound pictures and know what their gender would have been. We'd have been able to feel them move for a while. At this stage they look human, not like a blob of cells. I look at images of babies in the … Continue reading Who I’ve been
We're talking about our future again, we haven't for a while. We just stopped because it didn't really feel like there was a future. We just moved forward each day and kept our heads down clinging on to each other. It feels less like drowning. I made a cushion. It doesn't sound like a lot … Continue reading We’re talking about the future
Mostly now I can feel myself ever so slowly creeping forward to a place where I might just be able to move on, to move forward from this. Not that it will ever not be a part of me, but I cannot and will not let my past define me. I am a mother yes, … Continue reading Those out of the blue days…
http://www.momjunction.com/articles/ways-to-heal-your-body-after-a-miscarriage_00350190/?amp=1 http://www.momentsaday.com/15-lessons-learned-from-miscarriage/ http://mobile.nytimes.com/2013/08/04/opinion/sunday/the-trauma-of-being-alive.html?referer=http://www.momentsaday.com/15-lessons-learned-from-miscarriage/ http://www.withtearsoflove.com/?m=1 http://www.scarymommy.com/things-learned-after-recurrent-miscarriage/ http://www.scarymommy.com/sister-miscarriage/?utm_source=FB http://www.stylist.co.uk/life/miscarriage http://www.thedarlingdays.com/honor-a-baby-lost-through-miscarriage/ http://www.thedarlingdays.com/honor-a-baby-lost-through-miscarriage/ https://www.momschoiceawards.com/blog/three-things-i-wasnt-expecting-to-grieve-in-the-midst-of-recurrent-pregnancy-loss/comment-page-1/#comment-766?utm_source=pinterest&utm_medium=pinterest_pin&utm_campaign=pinterest_blog Kelly Farley’s book Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back. The film Return to Zero
A little somthing for the fathers. Christian/faith based sentiment. Still sweet.
There isn't enough support regarding men and their experience with miscarriage, so I did a little research and came up with this This will take you to the google search Men and miscarriage leaflet the miscarriage association: online leaflet Cosmopolitan magazine article An article form the site 'the art of manliness' is available here. 'Baby centre' … Continue reading Resources for men
You take your joy when you can get it in times like these, and today my joy was, of all things turnips. I got the app notification which now tells me how many weeks along I would have been, rather than tracking a pregnancy. I originally deleted it to save myself heartache, yet I found more … Continue reading Little turnip…
Morrison's baby section, lovingly placed opposite the self service till which I frequent regularly now interups what used to be a calming and enjoyable lunchtime sabbatical. When I'm getting my lunch it never fails to find new ways of stabbing me in the tender spot where my heart is still trying to stitch itself back … Continue reading Dinosaur hat
I don't believe in heaven Yet still I talk to you I think that you can hear me, I hope that it is true. You are my precious baby. I'll love you all my life, Though we never got to hold you, and the pain cuts like a knife. Talking makes it less like I … Continue reading Family tree
The feeling of panic I get when I think that I may never have kids is difficult to explain. All my life I have planned for children; the 'Kids rooms' and 'Child care' boards on pinterest didn't start with the positive pregnancy test, nor did the obsession with babies and children. I love them, I … Continue reading Rising panic
While my pregnancy may not have made a baby, it did make a mother. I became a mother as soon as I suspected I was pregnant, the test just confirmed what I knew in my heart. From that moment, dispite the rising panic, I felt this huge surge of love that I could never have … Continue reading Thoughts after miscarriage