Ode to health based infirtility 

​Mostly I just want to be a mother. A mother with a living, breathing, hold your hand as you cross the street child.  I now have a 20% chance of re-occurring miscarriage due to losing my first pregnancy. Added to that the 13% increace that is associated with severe joint hypermobility syndrome we're looking at 33%. … Continue reading Ode to health based infirtility 

Hopeful?

I don't really feel very hopeful at the moment. Actually all I feel is empty and numb and sad. I sometimes feel a bit disassociated with my life. Like there is now way this is happening. Time is not moving on, I can't keep up with it. I feel just a bit 'outside' all the … Continue reading Hopeful?

So my health…

This week my health has been interesting. It's the only real thing that describes it. It hasn't been awful, it could definitely be worse, but my digestive system is having some serious moments. This week has not been it's finest hour. I got a bit over tired with schoolwork and my body threw a hissy … Continue reading So my health…

Who I’ve been

We're now at what would have been the 20 weeks point. We would have ultrasound pictures and know what their gender would have been. We'd have been able to feel them move for a while.  At this stage they look human, not like a blob of cells. I look at images of babies in the … Continue reading Who I’ve been

Stillborn support 

https://juliasmomblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/01/what-they-dont-tell-you-about-losing-a-baby/

Those out of the blue days…

Mostly now I can feel myself ever so slowly creeping forward to a place where I might just be able to move on, to move forward from this. Not that it will ever not be a part of me, but I cannot and will not let my past define me. I am a mother yes, … Continue reading Those out of the blue days…

More links and resources 

http://www.momjunction.com/articles/ways-to-heal-your-body-after-a-miscarriage_00350190/?amp=1 http://www.momentsaday.com/15-lessons-learned-from-miscarriage/ http://mobile.nytimes.com/2013/08/04/opinion/sunday/the-trauma-of-being-alive.html?referer=http://www.momentsaday.com/15-lessons-learned-from-miscarriage/ http://www.withtearsoflove.com/?m=1 http://www.scarymommy.com/things-learned-after-recurrent-miscarriage/ http://www.scarymommy.com/sister-miscarriage/?utm_source=FB http://www.stylist.co.uk/life/miscarriage http://www.thedarlingdays.com/honor-a-baby-lost-through-miscarriage/ http://www.thedarlingdays.com/honor-a-baby-lost-through-miscarriage/ https://www.momschoiceawards.com/blog/three-things-i-wasnt-expecting-to-grieve-in-the-midst-of-recurrent-pregnancy-loss/comment-page-1/#comment-766?utm_source=pinterest&utm_medium=pinterest_pin&utm_campaign=pinterest_blog Kelly Farley’s book Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back. The film Return to Zero

Coping quotes 9

A little somthing for the fathers. Christian/faith based sentiment. Still sweet.

Dinosaur hat

Morrison's baby section, lovingly placed opposite the self service till which I frequent regularly now interups what used to be a calming and enjoyable lunchtime sabbatical. When I'm getting my lunch it never fails to find new ways of stabbing me in the tender spot where my heart is still trying to stitch itself back … Continue reading Dinosaur hat

Family tree

​I don't believe in heaven  Yet still I talk to you I think that you can hear me, I hope that it is true. You are my precious baby. I'll love you all my life, Though we never got to hold you, and the pain cuts like a knife. Talking makes it less like I … Continue reading Family tree

Rising panic

The feeling of panic I get when I think that I may never have kids is difficult to explain. All my life I have planned for children; the 'Kids rooms' and 'Child care' boards on pinterest didn't start with the positive pregnancy test, nor did the obsession with babies and children. I love them, I … Continue reading Rising panic

Thoughts after miscarriage 

While my pregnancy may not have made a baby, it did make a mother.  I became a mother as soon as I suspected I was pregnant, the test just confirmed what I knew in my heart. From that moment, dispite the rising panic, I felt this huge surge of love that I could never have … Continue reading Thoughts after miscarriage 

Christmas survival posts

I will be posting hourly for anyone who needs the support. Feel free to get in contact at this difficult time of year. We are with you. Surviving Miscarriage Together.

Christmas wish

Coping Quotes 7

Coping Quotes 6

Playlist Surviving Miscarriage Together

Updated playlist  I find music very comforting, and a valuable emotional release. I find it easier to cope with music. Here are some songs I have found that I found really helpful during and after my miscarriage. * means the song contains religious content, so you can avoid it if this is an issue for … Continue reading Playlist Surviving Miscarriage Together

Lights of Love Tree

http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/support/marking-your-loss/lights-of-love-tree/lights-of-love-tree-2016/ Many thanks to the miscarriage association for including our submission. 

Help over Christmas 

The mariposa trust -sayinggoodbye.org Are offering hourly posts on Christmas day over Facebook to help those coping with grief.

Tomorrow 

Tomorrow will mark two months after loosing Emmet.